How NOT to Get a Girl
by DarkPrincess128
Summary: Larry is doing his new job, and runs into a very unexpected surprise...an ex-girlfriend whose name he can't even remember. Please read/review!


**Disclaimer: Phoenix Wright is not mine.**

**A/N: I haven't written a Phoenix Wright oneshot in forever! This scenario popped into my head when I was browsing court records and remembered all the cases all over again…I don't know if Larry is in character since I haven't played Phoenix Wright in forever. I hope he is, though, and please enjoy the story!**

Larry grumbled to himself on his walk through the park around Gourd Lake. He had nailed down a new job, but definitely not a satisfactory one. It was better than the hot dog stand, he supposed, but it still was not his ideal job.

"Stupid police guys and their stupid dog…there are so many better things out there for me than this! Ugh…" Missile barked up at him, angry at the insult Larry had made against him.

"What do you want!? I'm taking you for your walk when I could be doing better things, like sleeping. Isn't that enough?" Larry yelled at the animal.

Obviously, Missile did not think so and he proceeded to do his business right where he was standing…and that happened to be right above Larry's leg.

It smelled so bad, and he hadn't brought any plastic bags! Pissed, he started yelling profanities at the dog and at his leg, as if it was Missile's fault Larry had insulted him and he had to take a number 2. It was an epic yelling match: Missile was barking as loud as he could, and Larry was dropping the F-bomb as many times as HE could.

In the middle of the screaming/barking/swearing fight, a female voice was heard.

"L…Larry? Larry Butz?"

The Butz stopped his angry lecturing of the dog and turned towards the voice. He dropped his jaw at the sight of her standing there. "Hey!" _What's her name, what's her name!? I don't remember! Dude, I'm so busted if I call her the wrong name…_ "Hey…you!"

The beautiful woman narrowed her eyes. Larry forgot until this moment how pretty she was. She WAS a model, after all. She had long brunette hair with piercing blue eyes and the clearest skin. She was shorter than he, but he remembered nothing of her personality. He had to have been attracted to her once, so it wasn't a surprise he was again. Maybe she wanted to come back to him. He was known for being the ladies man, attracting beautiful women like her. It wouldn't have surprised him. "It's Phoebe."

"Oh baby, of course I didn't forget your name. How could I forget you?" Larry scratched the back of his neck, nervous as could be. "Phoebe. You look so beautiful today."

Phoebe, used to compliments by random men, replied "Flattery doesn't work on me, stupid. But what brings you to the park? You working the…hot dog stand?" The last sentence was choked out with a laugh.

Larry scoffed. "Of course not! That job is for total losers," He laughed nervously. _I can't tell her my new job is walking the police detective's dog! That's even worse! I'm hardly making anything this way…come on, why would I be here… _"I'm here because…I…I'm walking my dog!" He scooped up Missile in his arms who immediately started barking at him furiously. He cautiously set him down again. "Just a normal walk in the park. With my dog."

The lady crossed her arms, with a smug little smile still on her face. It attracted Larry to her immediately. "Really. What's the dog's name?"

"Missile," Larry said, just as smugly.

"Adorable. What's the story behind that name?"

Larry widened his eyes, not prepared to improvise a story on the spot. "Well…I was holding…a…pistol…hunting game in the woods. And then…I found this cutie-" he petted Missile, "behind a…tree. And then…he started barking…and I thought he was just the cutest thing. So…I…took him home…and…called him Missile. Because there were…missiles…in the woods," _Great story! _"Maybe she's stupid and will buy that…"

"Excuse me, you're talking out loud."

Oh man. "Heh, I didn't say anything, baby."

"You know, the last time I talked to you, you didn't have this adorable dog," she bent down to pet it. "What made you want to keep it?"

"It was just so cute!" Larry said, "Just like you."

Phoebe smiled but rolled her eyes. "You haven't changed a bit, you little player. How many girls have you been with since me?"

Larry, smoothly, said "None. The only girl I want is you, baby. The reason I got the dog was really because I miss you so much, and I needed somebody to fill the…emptiness in my life," He was so going to get her with this speech! "The dog reminds me of you, baby. And I need you."

Phoebe glared at him, the look on her face disgusted. "Did you just say I remind you of a dog!?"

He realized suddenly what he had done. "No, no, baby! I was just saying that he was pretty and…stuff. Like you!" It was hard to think of clever things to say now.

"So I'm like a dog."

Larry pondered this. "Yeah, kind of."

"You really HAVEN'T changed a bit, have you."

Larry realized his chance to get a beautiful woman back was slipping away. "Of course I have! I've seen the error of my ways. And umm…yeah." He was drained of ideas of what to say now.

"Well, I don't need you. I've got a new man who treats me other than something like a trophy. A man who isn't a player and doesn't make up stories about dogs. It says the Criminal Affairs Department right on his collar!" Phoebe had raised her voice a little.

"Oh. Right," He had completely forgotten about that. But it wasn't important now. "Who's your new man!?"

And suddenly, a spiky-haired man in a blue suit and tie came up and wrapped his arm around Larry's ex-girlfriend. "Hey, honey," And gave her a kiss on the cheek. He turned to Larry. "Larry! Have you met my girlfriend, Phoebe?"

**A/N: Was that the ending you were expecting? Haha. Please review! Thank you for reading and hopefully reviewing!**


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